Slot Systems

I've been playing celebrity slot machines lately. One of my favorites is I Dream of Jeannie, based on the sixties television show. Put out by International Game Technology, this slots game offers a couple of features you can't argue with.

First, "Jeannie" offers a progressive jackpot. You might not know this about me, but I like progressive jackpots. Usually, the bigger the jackpot, the more I like the progressive. That's just how it works with me.

Second, Barbara Eden does voice work on this game. Yes, the original Jeannie is back to reprise the role that made her famous. She gives words of encouragement as you play the slots and calls you cool things like "master" and stuff.

Now, you too can imagine you are Captain Anthony Nelson, having a hot, scantily dressed and (strangely) blonde Persian chick calling you her master. And at the same time you are playing for a progressive jackpot. It's a good time to be alive.

Of course, you'll have to imagine Barbara Eden is still in her prime. She's like 70 or something. I looked it up on Wikipedia.

Interestingly, in my exhaustive research of I Dream of Jeannie, I found out they are making a Jeannie movie. Due out in 2006, it stars none other than Lindsay Lohan.

Apparently, the movie's going to have a slightly different back story. 2000 years ago, Jeannie wanted to be a Persian warrior. Because the ancient Persians didn't go for warrior princesses, Jeannie was consigned to a magic bottle, where she would be made to serve the first person to get their hands on the bottle.

So I guess this movie is going to have a subtle women's rights theme to it. Mostly, it's going to have Lindsay Lohan in a skimpy genie outfit. She's definately got the figure for it, so I can dig it.

You know, the I Dream of Jeannie franchise is pretty unrealistic. I mean, let's assume you buy the part about the genie in a bottle. What kind of red-blooded American man is going to own a compliant female jinn with unlimited wish potential and NOT get a little nooky?

I know, I know, Nelson and Jeannie ended up married and everything, but let's get real. You mean to tell me he never got lonely at night? He was more concerned that this hot genie was going to screw up his career. Yeah, right.

That being said, I can't wait for Lindsay Lohan on the big screen as everyone's favorite genie. Look for it at a theater near you sometime in the summer of '06.

And check out the I Dream of Jeannie slot machine. IGT has really topped itself this time.