Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Slot Systems and casinocitytimes.com
I had a real treat today.
This little blog was featured in Casino City Times, a major online source for casino and gambling information.
Having reread the post that was cited in the casinocitytimes.com column, I thought I would reintroduce the site to possible new readers. I also had a comment or two about that earlier post.
1. A Testimonial To Introduce My Site
"Hi. I'm Chuck Flick. I've won hundreds of dollars playing slot systems devised by John Patrick."
That isn't true, of course. I've lost hundreds of dollars playing those same systems, but I'm cheery about it.
Actually, my name isn't really Chuck Flick, either.
That's sorta my alter ego. Here's how it all came to be.
I was checking out at Kroger several years ago. The young lady at the register asked if I had a Kroger Loyalty Card, and I said, "Well, I don't think I do."
So she had me fill out my information, complete with name, address and e-mail address.
I suddenly realized I was going to be barraged with junk mail and spam from Kroger, so I gave all kinds of false info on the application. Chuck Flick was the name I came up with at a moment's notice.
Since that time, every time I fill out a loyalty card, I give my name as Chuck Flick. I love hearing the cashier say to me, after I produce my fake grocery store I.D., "Have a good day, Chuck."
My real name, you might ask?
Chucky McChuck. I'm Irish and stuff like that.
2. Fuzzy Math
My math was waaaay off on the number of John Patrick posts I'm going to have. I mean, it was off by a factor of five.
I mentioned playing five sessions for John's 25 different slots methods. Somehow, I added an extra five into my multiplication figures, coming up with the astronomical 625 posts for John Patrick's Slots alone.
Wow, that really would be stalking the old fellow.
Let me assure my readers; I won't beat them over the head with 625 John Patrick posts. Not unless he and I eventually end up starring in a sitcom together.
He could play my crotchety old granddad who's always peddling gambling systems. He moves into the house to hide from angry customers, making my life interesting as I try to cope with my wife leaving me or something.
I don't know what the name of the show would be. "One-Armed Bandits" is the first thing that comes to mind, but since neither of us has lost an arm, that just wouldn't make any sense at all.
I'll have to think about that one.
3. Bill Stone Will Help You Win the Lottery
This Bill Stone guy is a mess. He's a real piece of work. I'm pretty sure Bill also calls himself Giancarlo Capuccio, which is probably his name at the local Kroger food store.
For the record, Bill Stone claims to be a gambling expert. He sells e-books showing people how to win at gambling.
He once sent me an email showing me how to win the lottery.
That should tell you all you need to know about Bill Stone.
He's just one of the more notorious gambling "gurus", which dovetails with my final point.
4. I'm An Expert; Now Give Me Money
If you wanna be considered an expert, simply tell people you're an expert.
You might try this sometime. I'm telling you; it works. Read what I'm writing and learn it.
You can believe me, because I'm an expert.
That's not true. I'm no expert, especially about gambling. I kind of suck at it, to be honest.
Of course, I would suggest there aren't many slots experts. I mean, you hit a button and hope for luck.
If you're on the internet looking for free slots tips, let me save you the time searching around. Here's the sum of most slots wisdom you'll find:
Money management...slots myths...you didn't win because you didn't play my method properly...Charles Fey...don't leave a hot slot...random number generator, simply called an RNG...money management...lock up a profit...bet the maximum coins...cold machines comes in pairs...zig zag...money management...and, last but not least...when you learn my system, casinos will hate to see you come in the door.
I'm sure I'm missing something, but that's not a bad list. Most of it's just there to fill space.
Or you could remember that playing slots is just another form of entertainment, like watching a movie or a ballgame, and you're probably going to have to pay a little money to be entertained.
Otherwise, keep in mind the bottom line.
Bet one coin. Bet five coins. Bet one line, two lines or all the lines, if you want.
In the end, you're hitting a button and hoping for luck.
This little blog was featured in Casino City Times, a major online source for casino and gambling information.
Having reread the post that was cited in the casinocitytimes.com column, I thought I would reintroduce the site to possible new readers. I also had a comment or two about that earlier post.
1. A Testimonial To Introduce My Site
"Hi. I'm Chuck Flick. I've won hundreds of dollars playing slot systems devised by John Patrick."
That isn't true, of course. I've lost hundreds of dollars playing those same systems, but I'm cheery about it.
Actually, my name isn't really Chuck Flick, either.
That's sorta my alter ego. Here's how it all came to be.
I was checking out at Kroger several years ago. The young lady at the register asked if I had a Kroger Loyalty Card, and I said, "Well, I don't think I do."
So she had me fill out my information, complete with name, address and e-mail address.
I suddenly realized I was going to be barraged with junk mail and spam from Kroger, so I gave all kinds of false info on the application. Chuck Flick was the name I came up with at a moment's notice.
Since that time, every time I fill out a loyalty card, I give my name as Chuck Flick. I love hearing the cashier say to me, after I produce my fake grocery store I.D., "Have a good day, Chuck."
My real name, you might ask?
Chucky McChuck. I'm Irish and stuff like that.
2. Fuzzy Math
My math was waaaay off on the number of John Patrick posts I'm going to have. I mean, it was off by a factor of five.
I mentioned playing five sessions for John's 25 different slots methods. Somehow, I added an extra five into my multiplication figures, coming up with the astronomical 625 posts for John Patrick's Slots alone.
Wow, that really would be stalking the old fellow.
Let me assure my readers; I won't beat them over the head with 625 John Patrick posts. Not unless he and I eventually end up starring in a sitcom together.
He could play my crotchety old granddad who's always peddling gambling systems. He moves into the house to hide from angry customers, making my life interesting as I try to cope with my wife leaving me or something.
I don't know what the name of the show would be. "One-Armed Bandits" is the first thing that comes to mind, but since neither of us has lost an arm, that just wouldn't make any sense at all.
I'll have to think about that one.
3. Bill Stone Will Help You Win the Lottery
This Bill Stone guy is a mess. He's a real piece of work. I'm pretty sure Bill also calls himself Giancarlo Capuccio, which is probably his name at the local Kroger food store.
For the record, Bill Stone claims to be a gambling expert. He sells e-books showing people how to win at gambling.
He once sent me an email showing me how to win the lottery.
That should tell you all you need to know about Bill Stone.
He's just one of the more notorious gambling "gurus", which dovetails with my final point.
4. I'm An Expert; Now Give Me Money
If you wanna be considered an expert, simply tell people you're an expert.
You might try this sometime. I'm telling you; it works. Read what I'm writing and learn it.
You can believe me, because I'm an expert.
That's not true. I'm no expert, especially about gambling. I kind of suck at it, to be honest.
Of course, I would suggest there aren't many slots experts. I mean, you hit a button and hope for luck.
If you're on the internet looking for free slots tips, let me save you the time searching around. Here's the sum of most slots wisdom you'll find:
Money management...slots myths...you didn't win because you didn't play my method properly...Charles Fey...don't leave a hot slot...random number generator, simply called an RNG...money management...lock up a profit...bet the maximum coins...cold machines comes in pairs...zig zag...money management...and, last but not least...when you learn my system, casinos will hate to see you come in the door.
I'm sure I'm missing something, but that's not a bad list. Most of it's just there to fill space.
Or you could remember that playing slots is just another form of entertainment, like watching a movie or a ballgame, and you're probably going to have to pay a little money to be entertained.
Otherwise, keep in mind the bottom line.
Bet one coin. Bet five coins. Bet one line, two lines or all the lines, if you want.
In the end, you're hitting a button and hoping for luck.
