Monday, October 16, 2006
Thor - Slots Game - Down the Steps Session #3
The next session took place during a marathon of slots I had a few weeks ago. You know, during the Stone Age when online gambling was legal and stuff. So allow me to introduce a new feature I call From the Files of Slot Systems.
Don't ask me what I post after I finish with my notes. Guess I'll have to start making trips to land casinos in the near future...and carry a notepad.
Or maybe I'll move to Antigua prematurely, before I make my million dollars. (sigh)
Whatever, these experiments may be a little harder to perform, but I'll figure out some way. I mean, governments often stand in the way of science. I'm pretty sure The Government tried to stop Pasteur from inventing milk.
So I'll sacrifice for my science, the way Pasteur and all those guys did.
During my next "Down the Steps" session, I played the Thor slot machine.
Now, I couldn't really tell you what they are doing with Thor in Marvel Comics these days. At least, I couldn't say without consulting Wikipedia.
Thor used to be the Norse god of thunder, son of Odin and the most powerful superhero in the Marvel Universe. Odin forced him to take the form of a crippled mortal doctor, but when he beat his crutch on the ground, Thor could still kick ass with the best of them.
Later, he became a registered nurse or an ambulance driver or something. I'm pretty sure he died. Even deities die when their monthly sales drop. Poor sales are kind of like Thor's kryptonite.
But I lost track of the story in there somewhere.
I mean, Marvel created an Ultimate Thor, who is either the god of thunder or a nut with a powerful hammer. Coincidentally, Ultimate Thor came from the Ultimate Marvel Universe.
Once there were two Thors, I kind of got sleepy head any time I heard anything about the guy.
So I'm not sure which incarnation of Thor is featured on the slot machine. This one looks like he's pretty tough, so I'm pretty sure this isn't the registered nurse.
The music is cool in this game. It plays when you win something, even when it's 45 cents. It's real dramatic stuff, like the music they used to play in those old Hollywood Biblical epic movies.
The pictures on the reels were top notch. There were all the standards: Mjolnir, Loki and Sif.
I've seen better pictures of Sif. I mean, we're talking the chick that Thor shacked up with. This should be one hot looking warrior woman. I mean, we're talking about the Xena of Norse mythology. She could take any two or three valkyries.
Of course, I think they maimed and later killed off Sif in the comics. I guess it's a real treat she was actually included. Don't ask me how they killed off a goddess. You know, it happens. (poor sales)
Of course, it's no surprise that Thor's woman got the axe.
I mean, that's what happens to superhero girlfriends. Most of them die in some awful way, usually after having an over the top encounter with Dr. Light. If they don't die horribly, then they become insane supervillains.
That's just what happens, except to Lois Lane, of course. She's the exception to the Dead and Crazy Girlfriends Rule.
My guess is the comics writers, mostly middle aged guys, have a real problem with women.
Either their wives give them hell all the time about getting a real job, or the wife left them for a truck driver. Either way, the writer is looking to take out his frustration, and so the love interest is on the receiving end of it.
That's just my guess.
But back to the slot machine. The rest of the images are concepts which have only a vague relation to Thor.
There's a typhoon. Then there's a viking ship. There's a hand with a cool looking shaped wristband, which glows mightily when it helps you win something. There is Thor's helm, a castle and a runic staff.
There's even a bored looking ice giant, which brings me to a question.
Why are giants in fiction always depicted as bored looking?
Let me present you with my theory.
Okay, giants sit around all day, waiting for some little guy to come slay them. It's gotta be dull as hell, honestly. In terms of excitement on the job, it's like being a security guard, except worse.
Unlike security guards, you don't have a television or a radio to keep you entertained. There's no watching the ballgame to pass the time. So it's really a whole lot worse than being a night watchman or something like that.
I mean, the hours are bad. The benefits are awful. It's the definition of a dead end job.
By the way, this session lasted 44 pulls. 16 of them were wins, though I never won anything over $7.50.
On the 44th pull, I had my 7th naked pull in a row. That was my pull limit, so the session ended.
Thanks to the pull limit, I only lost $13.50 on this session.
I was hoping for better luck. The Thor slots game is cool.
Guess I should have said a prayer to Thor before I started playing.
Starting Money: $690.41 Ending Money: $676.91
LOSING SESSION
Don't ask me what I post after I finish with my notes. Guess I'll have to start making trips to land casinos in the near future...and carry a notepad.
Or maybe I'll move to Antigua prematurely, before I make my million dollars. (sigh)
Whatever, these experiments may be a little harder to perform, but I'll figure out some way. I mean, governments often stand in the way of science. I'm pretty sure The Government tried to stop Pasteur from inventing milk.
So I'll sacrifice for my science, the way Pasteur and all those guys did.
During my next "Down the Steps" session, I played the Thor slot machine.
Now, I couldn't really tell you what they are doing with Thor in Marvel Comics these days. At least, I couldn't say without consulting Wikipedia.
Thor used to be the Norse god of thunder, son of Odin and the most powerful superhero in the Marvel Universe. Odin forced him to take the form of a crippled mortal doctor, but when he beat his crutch on the ground, Thor could still kick ass with the best of them.
Later, he became a registered nurse or an ambulance driver or something. I'm pretty sure he died. Even deities die when their monthly sales drop. Poor sales are kind of like Thor's kryptonite.
But I lost track of the story in there somewhere.
I mean, Marvel created an Ultimate Thor, who is either the god of thunder or a nut with a powerful hammer. Coincidentally, Ultimate Thor came from the Ultimate Marvel Universe.
Once there were two Thors, I kind of got sleepy head any time I heard anything about the guy.
So I'm not sure which incarnation of Thor is featured on the slot machine. This one looks like he's pretty tough, so I'm pretty sure this isn't the registered nurse.
The music is cool in this game. It plays when you win something, even when it's 45 cents. It's real dramatic stuff, like the music they used to play in those old Hollywood Biblical epic movies.
The pictures on the reels were top notch. There were all the standards: Mjolnir, Loki and Sif.
I've seen better pictures of Sif. I mean, we're talking the chick that Thor shacked up with. This should be one hot looking warrior woman. I mean, we're talking about the Xena of Norse mythology. She could take any two or three valkyries.
Of course, I think they maimed and later killed off Sif in the comics. I guess it's a real treat she was actually included. Don't ask me how they killed off a goddess. You know, it happens. (poor sales)
Of course, it's no surprise that Thor's woman got the axe.
I mean, that's what happens to superhero girlfriends. Most of them die in some awful way, usually after having an over the top encounter with Dr. Light. If they don't die horribly, then they become insane supervillains.
That's just what happens, except to Lois Lane, of course. She's the exception to the Dead and Crazy Girlfriends Rule.
My guess is the comics writers, mostly middle aged guys, have a real problem with women.
Either their wives give them hell all the time about getting a real job, or the wife left them for a truck driver. Either way, the writer is looking to take out his frustration, and so the love interest is on the receiving end of it.
That's just my guess.
But back to the slot machine. The rest of the images are concepts which have only a vague relation to Thor.
There's a typhoon. Then there's a viking ship. There's a hand with a cool looking shaped wristband, which glows mightily when it helps you win something. There is Thor's helm, a castle and a runic staff.
There's even a bored looking ice giant, which brings me to a question.
Why are giants in fiction always depicted as bored looking?
Let me present you with my theory.
Okay, giants sit around all day, waiting for some little guy to come slay them. It's gotta be dull as hell, honestly. In terms of excitement on the job, it's like being a security guard, except worse.
Unlike security guards, you don't have a television or a radio to keep you entertained. There's no watching the ballgame to pass the time. So it's really a whole lot worse than being a night watchman or something like that.
I mean, the hours are bad. The benefits are awful. It's the definition of a dead end job.
By the way, this session lasted 44 pulls. 16 of them were wins, though I never won anything over $7.50.
On the 44th pull, I had my 7th naked pull in a row. That was my pull limit, so the session ended.
Thanks to the pull limit, I only lost $13.50 on this session.
I was hoping for better luck. The Thor slots game is cool.
Guess I should have said a prayer to Thor before I started playing.
Starting Money: $690.41 Ending Money: $676.91
LOSING SESSION
