Slot Systems

For my fifth and final session of Down the Steps, I went with the Blade slot machine.

This one has it all. You have a dark-haired chick who looks to be in pain, which every red-blooded American guy loves. You've got semi-automatic pistols and tombstones and silver stakes and crucifixes and cool (impractical) bladed weapons.

I mean, you've got everything you need for a wild Saturday night.

For some odd reason, though, one of the symbols is a lipstick case. I guess vampires chicks love to pile on the cherry lipstick. Killing a guy seems so much more sensuous that way.

Or maybe there's been a re-write of Blade I'm not taking into account. Is it possible everyone's favorite half-breed vampire gets up in drag these days?

Stranger things have happened. I've heard they turned the Ultimate Colossus gay. Wonder what Wolverine thinks about all those fastball specials now?

By the way, this game really pissed me off.

I lost $50.05 on the session. Almost nothing went right this outing. It lasted 74 spin, meaning I lost around 65 cents per spin. All in all, 28 of the spins "won" me money, though most of those were two dollars or less.

Since about half my spins cost that much, I was pretty much losing the whole time. My biggest winning pull was 7 dollars, not nearly enough to help my cause.

In fact, I've decided that no small winning pulls are of much account. Hell, I nearly reached my loss limit (of seven losing spins in a row) early on, but I "won" 90 cents on the seventh one. Had I ended there, it would have saved me about 45 bucks.

To win at slots, you have to win big bonuses. That means you'll never be consistent at slots. No system can get around that fact, so I would suggest you avoid playing someone's slot systems. I've just about decided that anyone telling you any different is a scammer...or, at best, a fool.

For instance, I won around 150 bucks on my first Down the Steps session. Otherwise, I was losing. "Grinding out small wins" the way John Patrick suggests is nonsense. If you think he's right, then you're a nonsense person.

Speaking of nonsense, since Wesley Snipes may end up in prison for tax evasion, I doubt there will be another Blade movie. I guess they could film Blade in a prison.

That would be a cool vampire movie. Imagine a prison run by a clan of vampires. What better way to maintain a steady source of fresh blood?

Blade is placed in prison, only to find a bunch of vampires are the guards. You talk about action.

Or better yet, imagine a zombie movie set in a prison. One day, hardened criminals are going about their usual hyjinx, when suddenly a zombie apocalypse happens. It would explore a side of the zombie attack we'e never seen before. Hell, all those zombie movie worlds, those things had to have their own prison system. Prison of the Living Dead...I like the sound of it.

You might scoff, but I've seen Hood of the Living Dead. I guarentee a prison setting would beat that. (Or a shopping mall, for that matter.) I mean, you've got plenty of guns and badasses. Imagine the cons sitting around watching t.v. reports of the zombie attack and saying, "We've gotta get out of this place." You could have a riot, and when things are starting to get crazy, Boom!, the zombies show up. Then what's left of the two sides would have to work with one another.

You could have the slimy warden could cut a deal with the slimy gang leader, but only after it's too late. If you want hot women and all that, there's always the obligatory conjugal visit. It would work.

Think about it.

Starting Money: $626.51 Ending Money: $576.46

LOSING SESSION